Life Living With A Woman
by XxDracoIsMyHeroxX
Summary: The joy. So this is life living with a woman? It was going to be terrible. But then again...It could be incredible. Just a short oneshot. Draco discovering the joys of living with a woman.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Once again, I know I have a dozen, un-updated, fanfics floating around. This very short, and very pointless oneshot came to me while I was taking a shower the other day. I tried to make it as humorous as I could. It's funny to me but I don't know what ya'll will think. So tell me in a **review** por favor. xD Well enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Anything you may recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling. Sadly, I don't own Draco, Ron, or Harry. Maybe I could own Tom, Rupert, and Dan though? Lol.

**Life Living With A Woman**

**A oneshot written by xXDracoIsMyHeroXx**

_Meow. Meow. Meow._

Draco Malfoy awoke to the strained 'meow' of a cat. Slowly, he forced open one eye, then the other as he searched for the source of the sound. He looked around until he noticed a big, orange figure standing at the edge of his bed. He groaned as the cat stared at him with his beady black eyes. His face made him look as if he had ran into a glass window. Crookshanks. That damn cat. How he had gotten into his room at this time, he hadn't the slightest idea. Of course, it could be because his door was open. But, then again, he thought he had shut it last night.

The Slytherin Prince let out a silent growl as he rolled out of bed. Walking towards the bathroom, his silky black pajama bottoms were askew and his usually well-groomed hair stuck up in all directions. He slowly drug his feet towards the bathroom that he shared with the Head Girl. His face was scrunched up as if he had just sucked on a lemon. Clearly, Draco Malfoy was not a morning person.

"Bloody cat," he said to himself as he opened the bathroom door. The cat wasn't his, oh Merlin no. It was, of course, the Gryffindor Princess's horrific cat. He had to admit; the cat was well behaved. But, when the blasted thing crept into his room and he was forced to wake to annoying 'meow' sounds, well, it angered him.

Draco walked over to the shower and turned it on. He quickly twisted and turned the knobs to the shower, trying to get the water perfect. After a minute or two, he finally did. Slowly, he stripped off his pajamas and his boxers, and climbed into the hot shower. Draco let out a low moan as the hot water pulsed onto his skin and soothed his aching muscles. It felt like heaven.

He wet his hair and reached for his shampoo. Squeezing it into the palm of his hand, he noticed something unusual. Well, _smelled_, was more like it. It smelled…floral. He opened the shower curtain a crack and stuck his head out of the shower. The smell disappeared. He stuck his head back into the shower, and there was the scent again. He looked around inside the shower, trying to find the source of the springy smell. He looked towards the shower rack and noticed that his shampoo wasn't there. Instead, there was Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner.

"What the…" he had started to say. When in the name of Merlin's left butt cheek did his stuff get replaced with this? He scowled as he realized he would have to make do with the floral shampoo and conditioner. As he lathered in the conditioner he noticed another thing. His soap was gone. What the hell was he supposed to wash with? His eyebrow furrowed as he noticed the 'Vanilla and Cocoa-Bean' body wash. Oh no. Sure, he could live with floral hair. But no way in hell would he walk around smelling like he had just walked out of a women's showering store. But, then again, a Malfoy never walked around smelling like body odor. Eck.

He reached for the body wash, and poured it over his body. He quickly washed his body and rinsed off. Draco reached out to grab a towel off the rack. He pulled it in and started to dry off his face, then his body. When he actually looked at the towel he was using, he yelped. It was red and had a gold lace trim around it. Slowly he pulled open the shower curtain, afraid of what he would see. He stuck his head out the shower and his eyes went wide. The entire bathroom was painted _red_. He stepped out onto the fuzzy golden-colored carpet. He did like the carpet. Soft and fuzzy on his feet, but he would never admit that to anyone.

Draco walked over to the counter and looked around. He was befuddled by all the crap there was. Face wash, face moisturizer, facial scrub, facial masks. There were many other things. He groaned again as he walked into his room to get dressed. "Bloody Granger," he whispered as he reached into his wardrobe to pull out his school robes.

After he was dressed he returned to the bathroom to do his hair. He had stopped slicking it back in third year, but he still had to straighten it. When he reached the bathroom, he opened a drawer to look for his hair gel. Sure he could just use magic to do it. But, he preferred to do it himself. He jumped at what he found in the drawer. What in the hell were…_tampons_? And…_pads_? Curiously, Draco grabbed the tampon box and opened it. As he looked into it, he found a bunch of round packages. He lifted an eyebrow as he pulled out a piece of paper. As he began reading, his eyes widened and…did he just _scream_? Quickly, he stuffed the paper in the box and threw it in the drawer. He slammed it shut and ran out of the bathroom.

Hermione, who was sitting on the couch reading, heard Malfoy run down the stairs. She smiled as Malfoy's scream kept playing through her head. "Granger!" he yelled as he stepped into the common room. "What the hell?" He strutted up in front of her and glared down. Hermione smirked and looked up to him. She pretended to act confused.

"What ever do you mean Malfoy?" she asked cheekily. She laughed as his face turned tomato red.

"What do I mean? I mean, what the hell did you do to the bloody bathroom!"

"What?" she asked. "You don't like the paint job?" she tried to contain her smile. Draco's face scrunched up.

"Of course I don't like the paint job! And I don't fancy all your _girly_ products either."

"Oh yeah?" she asked again. "Like what?" Oh she was having so much fun with this. Malfoy blushed a little bit and he looked away. Trying to find something to distract him

"Well, for instance, all your garden smelling crap in the shower."

"Mhm," she nodded. "And um…is that it Malfoy?" Oh yeah, this was definitely better then Transfiguration classes any day.

"Well," Draco wandered off. Oh Merlin this was bloody embarrassing.

"Well what? Spit it out already, class starts in fifteen minutes," Hermione snapped at him. Draco blushed more, causing his whole face to go pink.

"I don't like your tampons in there either." There, he had gotten it out. That was the hardest thing ever.

_Aw yes_, he thought to himself as they walked out of the common room down to the Great Hall. Hermione was walking just infront of him, and the sight of her nice bum had caught his eye. _The joy. So this is life living with a woman?_ It was going to be terrible. But then again...It could be incredible.


	2. AN

**Author's Note: **Okay kiddies. Ya'll should know that I am not updating. This is just a oneshot. I just wanted to thank all of you who reviewed my story. I loved the wopping 4 of them.

I guess I will also tell you guys that I'm so sorry I haven't updated any of my fanfics in forever. I'm starting the next chapter to Never Gone right now. Again, terribly sorry about the wait. I just haven't had the inspiration to write anything lately. I've also been having guy troubles. They suck.

But yes, I just wanted to let you know that I haven't abandoned them.

Love you all!

XxDISHxX


	3. AN Again!

**Authors Note: ** I know I haven't updated at all in forever! I'M SO SORRY! I've been incredibly busy lately, and evertime I sit down to write I get distracted or have a writer's block. I just wanna tell you all that I promise you I am not abandoning ANY of my stories. I'm going to try and update most, if not all of them this weekend. I'M SORRY AGAIN!

XoXo

XxDISHxX

PS. If you read my story "Please Remember" and would like to read the prequel "In My Daughter's Eyes", let me know and I will e-mail it to you.


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